This website does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of myself, my company, my friends, or my cats. Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. Web site subject to change without notice. Text slightly enlarged to show detail. Resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental. All models over 18 years of age. Dry clean only. Do not bend, fold, or mutilate. Anchovies and jalapenos added upon request. Your mileage may vary. No substitutions, exchanges, or refunds. For a limited time only, while supplies last, and only at participating servers. Void where prohibited. Provided 'as is' without any warranties expressed or implied. Viewer assumes full liabilities. Not liable to damages due to use or misuse. Equal opportunity Web designer. No shoes, no shirts, no Web site. Caveat emptor. Read at your own risk. Web site may contain material that some people find objectionable. Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one per household, please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Action figures sold separately. Contents may have settled during shipping. Sanitized and sealed for your protection. Do not use if safety seal is broken. Do not use while operating motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Safety goggles must be worn during use. Call before you dig. Use only with proper ventilation. For external use only. If swelling, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use. Do not place near a magnetic source. Remove film cover before heating. Keep away from open flames. Avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucus membranes. Contents under pressure and may explode if incinerated. Smoking this Web site may be hazardous to your health. Best safe guard, second only to abstinence, is use of this Web site. Text made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. No animals were used to test the effectiveness of this Web site. Contains no salt, MSG, artificial flavors or colors, or preservatives. Refrigerate after opening. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, consult a physician. Ribbed for her pleasure. Slippery when wet. Must be 18 to enter. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. One size fits all. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. If defects are found, please do not attempt to repair them yourself. Return them to an authorized Web service center. Please keep laptop in the locked and upright position. Please remain seated until the browser has come to a complete stop. Procedures and devices described in this Web site are for informational purposes only and should not be used without checking the legality of said procedures and devices in your area. Items in this web site may not be used to harm others. Diane F. Fisli will not be held accountable for any use of any objects in this Web site. All items are the property of their respective owners, all else is the property of Diane F. Fisli. Objects in the rear-view mirror may be closer than they appear. Clothing optional. This website is not meant to cause pain, anger, harm, confusion, anxiety, nervousness, irritable bowel, bad vibes, fear of flying, acne, smelly feet, nasal drip, headaches, fever, toothaches, arthritis, displeasure, discomfort, bad memories, indigestion, bloating, gas pains, fever (oops, said that already), chest pains, ear aches, eyebrow twitching, ear wiggling, coughing, sneezing, pink eye, or any other maladies. To avoid steam build-up and possible injury, remove lid when viewing website in the microwave. WARNING: Websites can be dangerous. To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this website away from babies and children. Do not view this website in cribs, carriages, or playpens. THIS WEBSITE IS NOT A TOY!
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed. Other restrictions may apply.
Otherwise, back to the madness at hand